Patrick

Patrick is the beta of the pod. He is very sweet but will fight back to defend his honor when needed.

Patrick

Anxiety

Tits

Patrick is also a lead character in the famous short film Patrick Goes to Jollibee, which briefly occupied the title of highest rated film on the website Letterboxd. Although Initially hostile to Jollibee, noting that going to the restaurant would make him "feel even more like shit," he now appears to have reversed this opinion, and is working to construct a Jollibee in his home base, the Suck Shack. Presently, he lives on New Hampshire Road in New Hampshire.

favorite side-hobbies in Minecraft are growing Sequoia trees and bucket fishing.

- Poops out of his dump truck ass.

Personality and Attributes
Patrick, like his frequent counterpart Caleb, is admittedly evil. However, while Caleb expresses no remorse for his crimes, Patrick experiences remorsefulness for crimes committed against others, particularly against cows and chickens; some, however, point out that demonstrations of sympathy towards animals rather than people is a common trait among similar sociopathic criminals, a possible contributing factor to Patrick's evil persona. Patrick has committed violence against animals, and lit an entire flock of sheep on fire, remarking "I would feel so bad if I wasn't benefiting from this."

Patrick may be more strategic than Caleb in his evil pursuits, and has stated "[Caleb] is trying to be evil straight out the gate, you don't be evil straight out the gate... you build up," he has signaled an openness to mutually beneficial trades and relationships. Patrick's frequently ill-fated escapades are illustrative of his embrace and fulfillment of Murphy's Law, "everything that can go wrong will go wrong." After constructing a flint and steel Patrick began haphazardly starting fires, and was goaded by his chat into setting fires to trees and grasses.

Patrick's Cow Journey
Following the culling of JaidenAnimation’s cows by Caleb, Patrick attempted to make amends with Jaiden by bringing her cows to replenish those that were destroyed; this could be evidence of an altruistic spirit which contradicts Patrick’s evil aims, perhaps originating from his boyishly kindhearted demeanor, however alternatively this could be viewed as a strategic attempt to ease tensions temporarily in preparation for greater evil later. During the journey in search of cows, Patrick set several brush fires and killed several animals through immolation, further muddling the verdict of if he is purely evil.

Eventually he found a cow and attempted to lead it back to spawn with wheat. In response to suggestions that he should ask other players for a lead instead of leading the cow with the wheat, he explained that asking for help would be an implication of guilt. After being asked directly about the remaining single cow in the hole he responded that the missing ones had been destroyed by a creeper's explosion. Patrick eventually used a boat and successfully brought the cow home, breeding it with the original cow. Following this event, Patrick remarked "now I need to do one evil thing to balance it out," and slaughtered the sheep which shared the cows' area, nearly killing the cows and their calf.

Patrick Quotes
“It’s like when you’re getting sucked off and start thinking about Vietnam so you can last longer.”

"If there's one thing people know about me, it's that I don't look like the green goblin"

“I practice Stand Your Ground laws in real life, and I’ll practice them in Minecraft, too.”

“Damn, I finally bossed up. I bossed up. I never thought this would happen.”

“I can’t go on Red Scare, I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

”Guys, the Cheesecake Factory is hiring. That’s wild. THE Cheesecake Factory.”

”Sometimes, you just gotta...you just gotta get into a boat, go out to...go out to sea and just kinda dick around, you know?”

”I encourage underage smoking. I encourage smoking. I love underage smoking. Hell, I’m smoking on stream, fuck it. I’m one little baby, and I’m smoking my shit.”

”I’m like Shovel Knight, dude.”

”My cousin got trapped in a mine in Chile.”

”’Does New Hampshire have a bad heroin problem like Vermont?’ Yes, New Hampshire has a very bad heroin problem.”

”I am a starving artist, I don’t eat for shit. I need to learn how to make food.”

"Me watching the guy at Subway make the subs"

"Me watching the guy at Quiznos make the subs"

”I’m gonna build a big tree. Can’t really do much else.”

”I didn’t try to swim in lava. That’s not true. The game is lying to people.”

”I’m filming my Ice Bucket Challenge tonight. It’s finally time I do it.”

"Jolly jolly Jollibee jolly jolly"

Pat Facts:

 * Patrick once laughed for an 30 minutes at Peter Mayhew's death.
 * Less fat than you think.
 * Too pure. (Currently single)
 * Poops out of his dump truck ass. favorite side-hobbies in Minecraft are growing Sequoia trees and bucket fishing.  Poops out of his dump truck ass.
 * Patrick has said, "[his] favorite snack is little pieces of poop."
 * This page sucks so bad it hurts whoever wrote all this.
 * Patrick unknowingly stumbled into a Nether portal and died within ten seconds of entering the Nether. This began the arc known to the PodcastAboutList chat as “Patrick’s Penance.”
 * Patrick was deputized on the server in order to deal with the fallout from the Fitz controversy.
 * Patrick is 4'3".
 * Patrick is 79 inches tall.
 * Patrick has died 24 times, but has recently “bossed up.”
 * Patrick’s skin, the Jolibee Bee, is a reference to Patrick’s favorite restaurant franchise. He gets the Joli-Chicken and the spaghetti every time he goes.
 * Patrick would not wake up a pervert from a nightmare.
 * Patrick is Yoda. From Star Wars
 * JSchlatt gave Patrick diamonds, allowing him to boss up again. This act earned JSchlatt the first “Unlimited Sucks” pass at the Suck Shack.
 * Patrick famously, "hates breakfast."
 * Patrick Doran is Irish
 * Patrick looks like Megan Thee Stallion
 * Patrick is The Green Goblin
 * Patrick is a known arson, and was involved in the Norwegian church arsons by the black metal scene.
 * Patrick is a known arson, and was involved in the Norwegian church arsons by the black metal scene.